Sunday, July 14, 2013

Intent & Open Carry & Other Things That Tweak Me.

I very much support carrying, as anyone who reads this knows but I had never considered intent, I just always assumed that people would carry for protection only but I was proven wrong the other day and what my friend did I completely disagree with.

A small background on my friend, he has a lot of back issues and takes what I and a lot of his friends consider too many narcotic pain killers, this in of itself I don't think he should have guns around him, especially after hearing about some things and that he is falling into a deep depression but anyway, I'm sorry I deviate.  So this friend of mine has been trying to set up a Rhizotomy before the end of the month since his insurance runs out.  Now I can understand feeling a bit stressed about that but I do not understand going into the office directly openly carrying gun with the only intent to intimidate them into giving him an appointment.  I almost want to call that brandishing a firearm even though he wasn't waving it about.

The whole thing got me to thinking about intent, obviously concealing isn't and couldn't be intimidation but it makes me wonder if those who do openly carry do it because they want to intimidate people.  I'm sure not all people do but I wonder if there are a few out there.  I usually think the better of people and this leaves me a bit naive but I chose to because I don't want to become so bitter and hardened that I can't ever trust anyone.

On another note with this same friend, this is me more or less just trying get it off my chest since I can't really discuss guns and gun related things with my family and most of my friends.  So talking about the same friend, which I mentioned above and other instances where I felt it might be better that this person didn't own guns, at least not until he gets himself back in order because normally he's a sane rational person, who is level headed to a T.

He lives with his ex girlfriend because neither one of them can afford a place by themselves, he's doped up on pain killers and alcohol pretty much all the time now. Well she came home late one night from work and I guess bumped into a lot of things on her way through the living room, he came out of his room and pointed a gun right at her.  Now I understand the dark thing, etc. but when you live with someone I would figure you might take that into account and listen a bit more before rushing out of your room and pointing a gun at someone.  I think if he wasn't so doped up all the time, this wouldn't have happened.  I live with someone and sometimes I hear things go bump in the middle of the night but I listen for a bit to try to determine the situation.

On a different note but medical related with guns and depression.  Another friend was telling me how her friend had decided that he was too depressed and asked a friend of his to hold onto his guns until he got past it.  I think that took a lot to do that and to be able to recognize oneself as a risk and to ensure safety of themselves and others.

I wish that my friend who is going through this rough time would recognize that he has some serious issues and shouldn't be around guns right now but mentioning this to him is met with anger and opposition, of course that's how an addict reacts to being called out.  Just so I don't seem to come off as over reacting, just last night he tells me, while he's in Chicago for a few days, staying at a hostel that he was woke up by paramedics.  I inquired for details and basically he passed out, the staff couldn't wake him so they called the paramedics.  He tells me that it's a good thing that they didn't check his blood because they would have found a ton of alcohol, valium, Flexiril, Baclofin, which he lied to the paramedics and said he had only taken Flexiril.  I'm sorry that sort of shit (excuse my French, I'm angry) just screams addict.

I am in debate on keeping this person as a friend but a part of me wants to be a friend that can help but there isn't anything I can do; I don't want to be like all his other friends that have cut the friendship because of these same issues but it's stressing me out watching someone I care about decline further down and being helpless.

Okay enough drama, sorry to deviate from the gun subject.


  1. I agree. Him openly wearing his gun to the doctor's office was meant to intimidate and actions like that make the rest of us look bad. He does not need to own guns, nor be around them.

    Cut ties with him. At some point, it's about self-preservation, and I think that time is now. Guilt is holding you in this friendship and it's a dangerous, volatile one.

    He is absolutely an addict and legally should not be able to buy more guns, but you know he's lying on his form 4473 and there's no way to avoid that.

    I'm sorry, Is She, it's a difficult situation to be in.

  2. He even admitted that it was to intimidate them and to get them to make him appointment. You're right though, it gives the rest of us a bad name. I wish he was mature enough to realize he's in a bad spot and would at least remove the guns from his house be he doesn't even think he has a problem and I hope some day he will come to this realization and do something about it.

    It is a difficult situation but I think I know what needs to be done and I need to preserve my own well being. Thanks for reading this and being there for me.

  3. Guns and depression is kind of a rough subject. If it was just depression I'd say the call should be up to him but added to the drugs and alcohol paints a picture of someone out of control. Reason I say let the person make the call on only depression is because I've had problems with that myself for many years but have never been suicidal or a danger to others because of it.

    Most people who open carry do so for ease of access on the belief that the time saved will make a difference vs concealed carry. My only issue (and the reason I'll never open carry)is that to someone hellbent upon violence you become their first target if they see you with a gun on your belt.

    1. Sorry for the delayed response, I was on vacation last week and playing catch up at work yesterday.

  4. I completely agree with you, I think if it was just the depression I wouldn't worry so much but with the drugs there is that concern and the fact that he's had two gun instances since falling into this, that makes me worried.

    What would normally cause you to feel depressed? I hope that isn't too personal of a question.

    I agree with you on the open carry aspect, I also don't want to bring attention to myself and I feel open carrying does that, not just as a target but people taking notice of me.

  5. No worries on the delayed response, do what you have to do and we'll be here when you get time.

    Reason I said I'd give a pass on depression only is because certain politicians out there want to attack gun rights of those of us that have dealt with this.

    Easiest way of summing up my problem is i've lost 9 family members (over the years) and lost the only woman I've ever seen a future with, on the weekend I planned on proposing, during the month of September. Add that to the long and glorious list of failed relationships since and it makes life kinda rough. There's other minor things that bring me down but that month is usually my low point. I live with it though, and I keep trying to see the bright side of life. There was one point where I honestly didn't think I'd live to see 25 and wouldn't have cared if I didn't.

    Now I don't know how much time I have left but I plan on enjoying as much of it as I can for as long as I can. Still feel hollow but I stay busy enough with friends and what family I have left that i'm on good terms with that I don't have time to dwell upon the past.

    Kind of a long winded answer and probably more than you wanted to hear but no subject is off limits with me

    1. I've seen stories where they have gone after people's guns because of anxiety and depression so I wouldn't be inclined to make it known either. In a way it's a shame that they would do this, especially if someone voluntarily seeks help. I see taking such action against those that try to get help is going to keep people from seeking any help in fear that later down the road it will strip them of their rights.

      I didn't find your response long winded at all, it was real and that's what I always like and look forward to. I know it's hard to not feel something when you have had so many losses, to feel nothing would be the scary part. I'm sorry you have to go through all of that. I do understand the getting down about failed relationships all too well; I have my nice string of them too. Sometimes I'll feel down about myself and my typical self-deprecating thoughts, there are times I wish I didn’t have to live but to be honest I could never actually take my own life and certainly not with a gun. (That’s probably too much information)

      I think you have a good grasp on how to go forward. Do you ever think that hollow feeling will ever go away? Do sometimes feel lonely in a crowd of people?

      Side note: Did the job interview pan into anything?

    2. I honestly don't know if that hollow feeling will ever be changed because I don't feel or get attached to others the way most people do. Almost all the relationships I've had since there was nothing there, no feelings, no emotion, 100% complete indifference to whether or not they were around. I'm still friends with about 70% of them and do care about them but there was never any deeper feelings involved.

      And I understand the feeling of not wanting to go on and never being able to take your life with a gun. When I was younger, dumber, and ignoring my problems I drank way too much (up to a fifth a night) and took way to many stupid risks that could have gotten me killed because I didn't care and honesty thought I'd be better off dead.

      And yes, the interview did pan out. Just waiting on my background check and drug test results, both of which I know I'll pass and then I get to turn in my 2 week notice. Thank you for asking :)

    3. I understand that hollow feeling. I've made posts about it on my personal blog about how it seems after I've gotten older that maybe that love feeling was only meant for the young or either that I found my one love, it went away and I just have never been open to feeling that again, who knows. I just do the best I can to try to have a relationship with someone, when I am seeing someone, lol.

      But you don't have those feelings about being better off dead now?

      I bet that's just going to be a grand day, when you hand in your notice. I'm very happy to hear that you are able to move on, start having a life again and maybe even get to go out shooting a bit more :)

    4. went shooting yesterday actually. Took a trip to spend some time with friends and burnt through some rounds. Only downside was I couldn't talk my goddaughter into shooting the p90. Other than that it was a great weekend.

      I understand what you mean completely about the one love. I try myself when someone catches my interest but I don't get many chances at it.

      No, I no longer think I'd be better off dead. I've got some damn good friends, a goddaughter that i'm enjoying watching grow up, and family that needs me. So even though my romantic life is doa I still have plenty to keep me rooted.

      Still waiting to hear back from the job. Did my physical, background check, and drug test so i'm just waiting on results

    5. I'm glad you got a chance to go out shooting. I was going to try to go to the range on Monday (Lady's day) but my mom was coming up, she doesn't like guns, granted I teased her that it would make her feel better and that she should go with me, she just laughed and said no.

      What is your goddaughter's reservations on guns? How old is she?

      I always tell myself if I had a good base of friends and family that I would probably lose the desire to find a relationship. But unfortunately my family lives out of town, most my friends have moved out of town or they are in town and married with kids and have no time so I guess that just leaves me to adjusting myself to just accepting that I will be single and just deal with it.

      Been a couple of days, any word on the job?

  6. Haven't heard back yet, hopefully soon.

    I think the noise is what her hangup was. Granted, the 5.7x28mm isn't real loud but she's only 5. There will be plenty of time to teach her in the future.

    I'll always want back what I had once but have come to terms with the very real possibility that it will never happen, I jokingly call it being terminally single. Only real problem I have with it now is the fact that if I don't have a son then the family name dies this generation.

  7. Well, the job thing has to work, I don’t know any company that isn’t going to hire but has you do a test. I guess it depends on what background check they do; I know the one our company uses it can take up to three weeks to get the results back.

    I think it’s great that you want to teach her to shoot and I do hope she wants to, everyone should know how to shoot in my opinion.

    I like that, “terminally single” that’s probably a description for me. Most my dating problems though are my own; I have a tendency to push people away, something I’m working on not doing by reprogramming my thinking. Do you mind my asking how old you are? That must me a lot of pressure to produce a son to carry on your family’s name. I’m pretty certain my line won’t last too long; we all have issues with relationships. I think I have one cousin who now lives in ND and he has kids so at least the name won’t die, there certainly aren’t a lot of Hund’s out there and my original birthday name (I’m adopted by my mom’s second husband) that name is even less common and I think has already died away, Gilliland.

  8. I'm 33. From some of the things you've said I think you have me beat by a few years but I could be wrong.

    There is only one other male Easter in my line (my brother), but his wife can't have children. I try not to worry about it but it's a thought I can't keep out all the time.

    I'm pretty sure my goddaughter will learn eventually side her dad is a gun but like me.

    My big issue with dating is I understand the difference between being happy/in love and just being content. And sadly the ones I've been content in don't last.

    And I finally got my call back. I start my new job on the 26th.

    1. Wow, I never imagined that we were close in age grouping, I mean no I'm not 33 but we are close in age.

      So is Jerome East your actual name? You are actually young enough still so you have time to maybe meet someone and continue your name.

      In regards to love, I just figure maybe the euphoric feeling isn't really love. I think it's a comfort and understanding between two people who enjoy each other's company and are a team. For me, if it starts out all euphoric that more than likely it's not going to last. I have this saying, quick to fall in, quick to fall out. To me real love takes time, patience, understanding, etc. When you say content, it almost sounds like you are really saying settling but I could be wrong. Do you mind me asking why most your relationships end?

      Congratulations on the job, it's going to be nice for you to go back to being a normal human being and having a normal life. :)

      btw, if you want to talk via email, instead of spilling our personal lives publicly, I invite you to email me instead but I also don't mind here either. I have another journal that's my personal life and it's mostly public.

  9. My life won't be completely normal with this new job but things will be a little better. It's swing shift work, rotates every time you have a day off but the way they have the schedule done you get a week off every month. Only issue there is two back to back short week checks but I'll probably be working a lot of overtime so it's all good